


Ashley and her sisters

by ApocalypseThen



Series: Shepard in Boots [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Comedy of Errors, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 01:38:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12332886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApocalypseThen/pseuds/ApocalypseThen
Summary: Shepard has to convince Ashley's sisters that she is a worthy suitor.





	Ashley and her sisters

"Oh, _Shepard_." Ashley's face fell into her palm. "I'm so embarrassed right now."

"I don't want to sound mean, Ash, but your family is all fucked up." Shepard had her arms folded. She wasn't giving an inch.

"I just don't get it," Ashley moaned. "This should have been a cake-walk for you. How could you mess it up so badly?"

"Hey, they're _your_ sisters," Shepard replied. "I assumed they'd have your sense of humour."

"Not about this! Not in my family! I thought you got that? A Williams has to be better, you know?"

Shepard just shrugged.

"God, just tell me what happened. Maybe there's a way out of this. Maybe I can do some grovelling, get you another chance."

Shepard started to talk.

\-------------------

OK, so I go to meet with Sarah at her Tae Kwon Do club. Busy schedule, bla bla, we had to meet after practice. Sure, why not, it's not like I flew half way across the galaxy for this meeting.

First they make me take off my boots when I go in, so I'm already feeling kind of naked. Then Sarah won't come out of the dojo, so I have to go in there. Again, there's some kind of dress code, I have to put on the special kung-fu pyjamas or the sacred mats will have to be steam-cleaned. No big deal.

I go kneel in front of Sarah. She's pretending to be asleep so I give her a little tap on the shoulder and say hi. She's annoyed I disturbed her nap, maybe? La-la-la we fight, I win, she looks all cross but we bow to each other. I figure I impressed her enough. I leave to go find Abby.

\--------------

"She said you pulled a gun on her," Ashley interjected.

" _We fought_ ," repeated Shepard, " _I won_."

Ashley put her head back in her hands and waved at Shepard to continue.

\---------------

High fucking tea with Abby Williams was a fucking delight, let me tell you. Those little cucumber sandwiches? Dee-licious. Abby starts telling me about the weather and the harvest this last season and I'm nodding and smiling, I am the picture of polite deference, did I mention the cucumber sandwiches? With the dill butter?

I try to steer the conversation around to us but she's having none of it, she just wants to talk about the scandalous price of imported tomatoes. Whatever, we chit-chat some more, I have to run if I'm going to catch Lynn, I make like a tree. I say thanks for the tea, it was real nice, will we see you at the wedding? That was all.

\------------------

"She said you didn't take your boots off," Ashley supplied. "She said you put them up on the coffee table."

"What the shit is it with your goddamn family and boots!" Shepard snapped. " _Seriously?_ "

\-------------------

I've got to say, Lynn was not at all what I was expecting. Whoo-ee! She was a lot of fun. I mean, I guess you know about the BDSM club and all, I respect that even if I'm not that into it myself. So she wants to drag me around by a leash for the evening, I'm game, it was a laugh and a half.

Long story short, she gets me to strap on this enormous schlong and tells me to fuck this other girl. Lynn's full of advice, how fast I should go, slap her on the titties now, pinch this, suck on that. She gives me a few swats with a paddle, and a few yanks on the leash, but I don't really need the encouragement, you know? Or the advice, really, but I'm being polite so I don't tell her to buzz off.

Whatever, the schlong doesn't give good feedback, so I get the girl off pretty quick and then I pop the question to Lynn. 'In your dreams' she says, but real breathy and slutty, like she means it in a good way. And then I caught the shuttle back.

\-----------------

"Oh, Shepard," Ashley shook her head. "I love you, but you can be such a dick."

"What?" Shepard asked stubbornly. "What'd I do? Was it the boots again?"

"Everything. Oh god, it was everything." Ashley looked like she was on the verge of tears. "You disrespected Sarah... and her whole dojo! You didn't fight with honor. You _cheated_."

"Hey, real life ain't fair!"

"Abby felt like you were mocking her. You were dismissive, you stuffed your face, and you ruined her anti-macassar."

"I don't even know what that is! Anti-whatshit?"

"And Lynn... oh god, you couldn't for one minute try not to top from the bottom, could you? She was testing you, Shepard, seeing if you could behave to get something you really wanted. She gave you so many chances, and you blew them all. You weren't supposed to enjoy yourself, you were supposed to demonstrate self-control!"

Shepard was nearly cross-eyed with confusion. "Um..."

"I am going to beg them to give you another chance, and then we are going to roleplay every goddamn scenario until you are perfect."

"Um..." repeated Shepard.

"Either you nod your head right now, Shepard, or we're done, and you kiss the keys to my chastity belt goodbye forever."

Shepard nodded vigorously. "Ok, jeez, what kind of fucked-up sisters..."

"We promised our dad, Shepard, so you're going to want to hold that thought in."

Shepard looked back meekly.

\-------------------

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Ashley," said Shepard, fresh off the shuttle from her second round-trip. "You ah... hear anything from your sisters? Yet?"

"Not yet, lover," Ashley said, pulling Shepard in for a hug.

There was an uncomfortable clang. Ashley's expression flitted from sultry to quizzical to outraged.

Shepard blushed in shame. "It uh, wasn't, uh, exactly...? As planned?"

Ashley yanked open Shepard's fly to inspect the newly-installed chastity belt.


End file.
